Monday, October 5, 2009

On the Perils of Hot Sauce

When I was in a store in New Orleans and saw bottles of hot sauce with labels like "Nuclear Death", I had the sense to avoid them. This piece by Jeremy Clarkson in the UK's The Sunday Times tells what happens to people who aren't so sensible. MP+

The Sunday Times October 4, 2009

Help, quick – I’ve unscrewed the top on a ticking bomb
Jeremy Clarkson

Like any responsible parent, I would not leave a loaded gun in the children’s playroom or keep my painkillers in their sweetie tin. But it turns out that for two years there has been a nuclear bomb in one of my kitchen cupboards, between the tomato ketchup and the Rice Krispies.

It’s an American chilli sauce that was bought by my wife as a joky Christmas present. And, like all joky Christmas presents, it was put in a drawer and forgotten about. It’s called limited-edition Insanity private reserve and it came in a little wooden box, along with various warning notices. “Use this product one drop at a time,” it said. “Keep away from eyes, pets and children. Not for people with heart or respiratory problems. Use extreme caution.”

Unfortunately, we live in a world where everything comes with a warning notice. Railings. Vacuum cleaners. Energy drinks. My quad bike has so many stickers warning me of decapitation, death and impalement that they become a nonsensical blur.

Read the whole piece here.

1 comment:

jgoreham said...

He's sure got it right about excessive warning signage in the UK- I worked in a cathedral in the North of England, and some of the ceilings in a small spiral staircase to the top of a tower are low. I put signs because people complained they were hitting their heads, but then they started complaining they lost their footing on the stairs because they were busy reading a sign telling them to mind their heads! I think if the English had been the first on the moon, instead of a flag they'd plant a sign saying "Caution Uneven Surfaces" or "Mind the Gap"...

Mad Padre

Mad Padre
Opinions expressed within are in no way the responsibility of anyone's employers or facilitating agencies and should by rights be taken as nothing more than one person's notional musings, attempted witticisms, and prayerful posturings.


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