Author Draws on ‘Outsider’ Perspective
By Samantha L. Quigley
American Forces Press Service
NEW YORK, Oct. 19, 2009 – Alison Buckholtz had no desire to marry into the military, but when she fell for her husband, an active-duty Navy pilot, she became a Navy wife.

Alison Buckholtz, author of “Standing By: The Making of an American Military Family in a Time of War,” published by Tarcher/Penguin, visits with “Sesame Street” character Elmo on the New York set of a Sesame Workshop “Talk, Listen, Connect” video, Oct. 14, 2009. Courtesy photo by Gil Vaknin
The couple married shortly after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on the United States. Buckholtz’s military education began at the same time.
“I basically thought servicemembers were robots and their spouses were unambitious, at best,” she said. “That was because, growing up, there was no member of my family who had served. I didn’t have any teachers who were in the military, no neighbors.
“I really knew no one [who had served in the military],” she added.
She was thrilled to have her preconceived notions of military life shattered, however. “What I found was much richer and more interesting than what I had thought it to be,” Buckholtz said.
Buckholtz would identify her husband only by his first name, Scott, and his occupation -- an EA-6B Prowler jet pilot who’s serving a 12-month individual augmentation assignment with an Army unit in Iraq. Her learning curve on how to be an officer’s wife was a steep one, she acknowledged. Most military wives whose husbands held the rank her husband held when he deployed for his command tour aboard an aircraft carrier beginning in 2007 hadn’t started out at that level, she explained.
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